Middle school is the period were students change biologically from being kids to adults, this change may pass normally for some students for their social relationships and can be challenging for other students regarding social relationships.
Changing biologically from being a kid to an adult has many changes in the student inside thoughts, feelings and emotions and from the outside regarding the ways to deal with others in this critical period and if there is no awareness for the student in the middle school period, he or she can have social skills problems dealing with people and with his or her feelings, thoughts and emotions.
Let me tell you this story that explains the change that happens to Andy in his middle school period.
Andy was a kid that finished elementary school successfully, he was preparing for middle school but he never thought about his biological changes although he always wanted to be an adult because of the following reasons:
I will be more free when I am an adult
I can do what adults do when I am one
I will enjoy doing what adults enjoy doing
Although these beliefs are right he never thought about the changes that he will receive from people around him that includes his family.
Andy joined his middle school and in his second year in middle school his body started changing biologically, his voice got deeper, his moustache started to show and his sexual desire started increasing exponentially.
His parents started treating him as a man now and he started to realize the relationships between his mom and dad and other members of his relatives. By not being prepared for such environment, he was confused in his inside with his thoughts, emotions and feelings and questions like:
Why people treat me differently?
Why can't I do what adults do although I am an adult?
Am I still a kid?
What should I do now as an adult?
Should I still play with kids?
For Andy and most middle school students, these questions unanswered are a trigger for them to act in an obviously naughty way in school.
Andy was making troubles dealing with his friends at school and his family at home, he was acting naughty and he also started skipping school. This behavior has its own reasons which are:-
He didn't know how to deal with his new self
There was no awareness about his biological status
These reasons made Andy want to return back to deal with life as a kid but it was hard for him, he tried to act as a kid by dealing with people in an irresponsible way the same way as he used to do.
Andy was obviously confused and this has its effect on his social relationships with others because he lacked social skills for the middle school period. This is when he should know the following points so that he can have the help he needs, he should know that:
Being prepared for this period is about being aware about it
Knowing that he is in a transition period can help him deal with it in an accepted way
Having awareness for his parent to deal with him in a transitional way can help him
All what he needs to deal with is his inside feelings, thoughts and emotions
Most of the middle school students who have confused feelings, thoughts and emotions focus on the people around them who treat them badly wishing that these people treat them in a different way, this attitude is a controlling attitude that a student is powerless towards i.e.: a student cannot change the outer circumstances and must be OK with it.
When the students focus solely on his confused feeling, thoughts and emotions and start dealing with them in the right way, his social skills increases automatically without focusing on his social skills. The right way to deal with his inside feelings, thoughts and emotions are as following:
He should not act upon his negative feelings: most confused students, those who are not aware about their inner feelings, emotions and thoughts act upon their negative inner talk when occurs, a negative inner talk can be feeling angry, feeling inferior, feeling superior or other negative feelings. Spotting his or her negative feelings and reacting in a way that are not based on them will automatically increases his or her social skills.
He should be aware of his statues: knowing exactly that he or she is in a transition status which requires sometimes to be a kid and sometimes to be an adult is the way he or she can deal with this period. It is OK for someone to deal with you as a kid and another one to deal with you as an adult, it is all about how you deal back with this person that can enhance your social skills in middle school and this what the previous point explained.
As a middle school student, you have to know that you shouldn't react upon how others deal with you but instead how you deal with your inner talk which is the most important fact to focus on so that you can have a better social skills in middle school.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9258625
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